"Wherever two or more people come together, there is bound to be conflict."
Resolving Conflict
Conflict Resolution is the act of resolving a conflict between two or more people or teams of people. Conflict can happen for many reasons, "whenever people disagree over their values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires." you will notice that these points of conflicts can all elicit emotions and are personal to each individual.
Because conflicts can be so personal to an individual, it is important to seek resolution to conflicts with sensitivity and understanding of both parties' needs. "It is important to acknowledge that both parties’ needs play important roles in the long-term success of most relationships, and each deserves respect and consideration." "In workplace conflicts, differing needs are often at the heart of bitter disputes. When you can recognize the legitimacy of conflicting needs and become willing to examine them in an environment of compassionate understanding, it opens pathways to creative problem solving, team building, and improved relationships."
Because conflicts can be so personal to an individual, it is important to seek resolution to conflicts with sensitivity and understanding of both parties' needs. "It is important to acknowledge that both parties’ needs play important roles in the long-term success of most relationships, and each deserves respect and consideration." "In workplace conflicts, differing needs are often at the heart of bitter disputes. When you can recognize the legitimacy of conflicting needs and become willing to examine them in an environment of compassionate understanding, it opens pathways to creative problem solving, team building, and improved relationships."
Resolving conflict takes certain skills to assure a positive outcome. These guidelines offered by helpguide.org help assure a positive outcome to conflicts.
- Listen for what is felt as well as said. When we listen we connect more deeply to our own needs and emotions, and to those of other people. Listening in this way also strengthens us, informs us, and makes it easier for others to hear us.
- Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or "being Right". Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.
- Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to old hurts and resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem.
- Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. Maybe you don't want to surrender a parking space if you’ve been circling for 15 minutes. But if there are dozens of spots, arguing over a single space isn’t worth it.
- Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives.
- Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.
Helpguide.org, a trusted non-profit resource. (n.d.). Conflict Resolution Skills; BUILDING THE SKILLS THAT CAN TURN CONFLICTS INTO OPPORTUNITIES. Retrieved February 12, 2011, from Helpguide.org Web Site: http://helpguide.org/mental/eq8_conflict_resolution.htm
